Hello and welcome, new subscribers! Some of you are here after reading Nancy Reddy’s interview with me for her Good Creatures column on the intersection of Creativity and Caretaking. We covered not just care taking a toddler (and 2 Pomeranians) but also the work of self-care with a chronic disease. To all the new readers, I hope you enjoy the topics we discuss here about getting through life’s tough moments.
And hello to my OG readers! I’m so glad you’re here….feel the party hat emoji vibez.
As you can see in that big module at the top, I’m experimenting with Substack’s podcast feature. You can listen to the audio companion by clicking above. If you love it (or hate it!), let me know in the comments!
Now, let’s get ready for the weekend with a look at Gratitude. I’m a fan because I’ve witnessed its power in my own life. It’s like the nice, hardworking coworker on your team at work who never gets the credit they deserve but is a freaking powerhouse when it comes to getting sh*t done. Gratitude gets sh*t done. Stuck in an anxiety loop? Gratitude can get you out. Are your toes starting to dangle in a depression hole? Gratitude can redirect your eyes to look above, to the sun. In short, Gratitude is a powerlifter who can spot you when you’re working with big mental barbells.
From the Anxiety & Depression Association of America — “Gratitude can be a game changer. It helps train your brain to notice and appreciate the little things in life and, in doing so, shifts your life experience tremendously. Gratitude can increase your happiness and wellbeing, life satisfaction, even overall health while decreasing the stuff we all want less of like anxiety, depression, and anger. It can be a powerful practice to cultivate, especially if you struggle with anxiety or depression.”
Some other benefits noted by a behavioral health non-profit outpatient center:
Better sleep. Before you hit the sack, spend a few minutes counting your blessings, and you could sleep more soundly and longer.
Better physical health. Lower blood pressure, improved immune function and less fatigue are just some of the physical benefits you could reap.
Better mental health. Gratitude promotes a sense of well-being and can help ease depression. It can also improve resiliency.
Greater willpower. Reflecting on what you’re grateful for before a meal can help you avoid the impulse to overeat.
Improved self-esteem. Cultivating feelings of gratitude and focusing on all the good things in your life create positive feelings about yourself and your abilities.
Better relationships. Saying “thank you” and showing appreciation can strengthen your relationships with your significant other, family and friends. And it can help you make new friends and build new healthy relationships.
Improved self-care. Being aware of the good things in your life can promote behaviors like exercising regularly, eating a well-balanced diet, creating opportunities for “me time” and taking care of your own health.
The best part about gratitude is, it’s free! And it doesn’t take much time.
If you’re curious about how to start a gratitude practice, I talk about two ways to get started easily in a previous post, The Most Underrated Tool for a Better Life.
Why am I talking about Gratitude again? Well, because it deserves it. It’s that important. But also, I was reminded about how instrumental it was in my own life when I looked back at a Huffington Post article I wrote for Thanksgiving (cue Gratitude vibes) the first year of my MS diagnosis. Even though I speak on Gratitude now and credit it with helping me get through really tough moments, it’s revelatory to see what it meant to me in the actual moments of coming to understand my new diagnosis.
Reposted from Huffington Post:
4 Reasons I Give Thanks for My MS Diagnosis This Thanksgiving
Eight months ago I was in a hospital bed getting a spinal tap after seeing double and unable to walk on my own. Only then did I learn what multiple sclerosis was. Rather than give into intimidating assumptions from the medical community, not to mention friends and family, I found inner strength, conviction and power. And for that, I am grateful.
But to clarify. Did I want this? Did I know what MS really was? Had I any comfort level with it? No, no, and no. Was there a moment of worry? Oh yes. That instant when an emergency room doctor said, "sounds like MS" and I saw my father, a man so strong, deflate. But later, alone in the predawn hours of my hospital room, I put into practice the tools that I'd taught others in my work as a meditation guide; I connected with my inner spirit and aligned with my higher self. Not even able to see out of both eyes at the same time, I could see this diagnosis for what it was- a much higher calling.
Now, when I say I'm grateful for my diagnosis, I'm not just talking about optimism. I'm not trying to see the "bright side" of a crappy situation, because that means I believe it to be, well, "crappy." Quite the opposite, I thoroughly live in a state of gratitude and see what I would not have, were it not for this life changing diagnosis.
Here's why I give thanks, and how anyone given a scary diagnosis can begin to be empowered by it:
1. We only get what we can handle... So evidently I'm a badass
We all are. Anyone who's stared down an "incurable disease" to say, no, I'm not giving into the fear, is working miracles in their own life. I believe that if we were strong enough to have received it, we're strong enough to thrive with it. But it might take a shift in perception to get there.
We can choose to shift our way of thinking, and see that we've been handed a badge of courage from the Universe. This concept then opens our minds to other wonderful insights. (Thank goodness! Those come in handy when figuring out how to exist in a new physical reality.)
We are each so capable of greatness, but consider that the routine of daily life might have actually been keeping us stuck in a loop of mediocrity. A crazy diagnosis cuts through all the normal stuff, eviscerating our daily duties, and opening up space to releasing our soul purpose.
2. I got super clear on my mission, and created a reality to accomplish it
Upon my diagnosis I was leading people to explore higher consciousness as a meditation guide (my symptoms actually appeared the morning when I woke up to start kundalini healing therapy training), and after the diagnosis I realized there was no time to dilly-dally. I wanted to create great change in the world, but I was also worn out just caring for myself.
In Eastern Medicine, MS is considered the "disease of exhaustion." Many of us living with MS feel this exhaustion and thus feel defeated. I chose not to accept defeat, but to just. stop. exhausting. myself. A tough lesson for a perennially busy entrepreneur, but I was determined to make my big juicy life goals happen, even with limited energy. The valuable lesson was distinguishing between being efficient and effective. Efficient means accomplishing a To-Do List quickly. Effectiveness meant only taking on tasks that generate significant results. Counter-intuitively to the "do-er" that I am, this meant using stillness everyday to focus and determine what actions would yield game-changing results.
3. I fast-tracked my self-love journey
MS is no joke. Yet I look at this "incurable disease" as a call to get really clear on my physical needs because I believe that health care is self-care, and self-care is self-love. Acting in self-love communicates a powerful message to the Universe that rather than passively accepting the diagnosis, I will actively create the most powerful path of healing. But I had to figure out what that meant to me. MS is notorious for being specific to each individual, so the course of healing that works for me is the only one I need. Committing to self-love and to listening to my own biofeedback blocked out the fear-based noise that surrounds our medical system. (Wow, suddenly sleeping eight hours and cooking kale seems super important. Am I right?!)
Whatever it is we're dealing with in our personal lives, consider that it comes to help us know our soul more. Let our daily rituals, these self-care actions, be the physical expression of that soul knowledge.
4. I say 'I love you' often, and mean it
It's always a good time to say, I love you. The Universe can throw us for a loop at any moment. Never did I comprehend that more than when I was in a hospital bed calling friends to tell them that I was being tested for multiple sclerosis. Choking out words, fighting back tears, and so thankful for their love and support. I was so grateful for the ability to tell them how much their love meant to me. That might have not been the case, had I had a stroke or a car accident. We don't know the moment when our life will change forever, so say I love you. You'll never regret it.
These four concepts are no longer just theories; they are spiritual truths recognized in mind, body and soul. And for that, I am truly grateful.
And with that, I hope you have a wonderful, Gratitude-filled weekend!
xx M
Gratitude is a Crazy Thing