Commemorating 10 Years of MS...with Psychedelics?

Curious about ketamine? Let's talk about it.

Blowing out the candles on a big anniversary

This week marks the 10th Anniversary of my MS diagnosis. I suppose you don’t really celebrate a life-changing diagnosis, but you do pause to acknowledge the years it’s woven into your life, tugging on moments both dear and benign.

As a mega advocate for psychedelics,¹ I love talking about their therapeutic powers and potential to transform our lives. From cannabis to ketamine, mushrooms to MDMA, there are benefits that, when used with intention and care, can uplift us from the pain we’ve accumulated from traumas big and small.

Side note: At some point in the not too distant future I’ll share more about how I used psilocybin—AKA “magic mushrooms”—to process and reframe my MS diagnosis. Guys, can you stand the suspense?! I want to say that I’m being a bit sarcastic but really, I’m hoping you’re into some Trip Talk. {Note to self: “Create Trip Talk podcast with my brother, the psychedelic researcher…}

Where was I? Oh yes: speaking of ketamine…

Ketamine at Johns Hopkins

This week I was accepted into a research study at Johns Hopkins that will be looking at if and how ketamine can help alleviate fatigue from MS, fatigue being one of the most pervasive symptoms.

What do you do when you hear that the preeminent research institution in the country is doing a study on a very cool psychedelic to address a very pervasive symptom from MS? You grab your bestie and road trip to Baltimore. Obvs.

Upon my diagnosis ten years ago, a friend reached out to her Eastern Medicine doctor to get his take on multiple sclerosis. His response: “MS is a disease of exhaustion.” In those early days, this statement was more valuable than all the bullet points in too many WebMD articles that I didn’t want to read. That statement set me on a course to better understand how this incurable affliction would affect me, day-to-day. Because while I wasn’t (and still am not) in a wheelchair or using mobility assistance, I (sure as taxes in April) have exhaustion, a heavy tarp that blankets my days. (Why is this newsletter reaching your inbox later than usual? Oh, no reason…)

Add New Mom Exhaustion to MS Exhaustion and you can just imagine how hard it is to get anything accomplished. And how crappy daily life feels in general, most days.²

So, I’m looking forward to see what ketamine might be able to do.³

What else can ketamine do?

I’m glad you asked. It’s becoming more and more common as an aid in psychotherapy to make it easier to dig into painful memories. While I have not used it in that exact method, I self administered a small amount a few years ago that helped identify some hidden, residual trauma from one of my miscarriages that had been nicely boxed up and packed away.

Even as I write this, I have a friend researching how to get started with ketamine-assisted therapy (KAP). Then just last week I heard another story about a friend of a friend who credits KAP with helping him get through extreme physical pain that—turns out—was a result of some deeper issues stemming from childhood. Any tool that helps us unpack our tightly taped up boxes of trauma is very cool and exciting. Let the healing begin!

There are now at-home options from Mindbloom and Innerwell, and doctors who are bringing the psychedelics into their practice. Innerwell has a directory to help find virtual therapists offering a variety of therapeutic options—from psychotherapy and psychiatry to EMDR and psychedelic integration with ketamine. Just so you know how freaking excited I am about the pervasiveness and ease of these new tools for our mental health, if you gave me the option of a free ticket to a Taylor Swift concert or a psychedelic-assisted therapeutic trip, I would very easily choose the latter. Bring on a Psychedelics Eras Tour.

Public Service Announcement: While psychedelics make it easier to see and move through the web of our emotional and physiological knots, it doesn’t mean we, mere humans, know what to do afterward. Please, if you are considering this type of therapy, ketamine or otherwise, look for professional help so that you can chart a course to effectively process, move through, and—importantly—move on from what comes up in the trip. How to find help? Yes, you can Google “ketamine-assisted therapy near me” for listings of doctors. Psychology Today has listings of local therapists offering KAT (here’s a sample listing from Dallas), and as I mentioned earlier, Innerwell is connecting people with trained professionals virtually for Psychedelic Integration. (*Please note that I have not used these services and don’t endorse any ones in particular. I’m sharing these options so that you know that the options are out there. Remember to proceed with good research and care for your personal health.)

Spreading the Word

Know someone in the Baltimore or DC metro area with MS who might be interested in joining this study? The lead scientist asked me to help spread the word. Please, come join me in ketamine land! Here’s the information from the MS Society about how to get involved. Also feel free to message me!

Curious about psychedelics overall? If you have any questions about them, please email me back or leave a comment! I’d love to know what you’re curious about. I have a fairly decent knowledge base as a layperson, but thankfully we have a psychedelic expert in the Cunningham family who is always game for a a little psychedelic Q&A.

Coming Soon

Stay tuned for a follow up newsletter coming sooner than usual to your inboxes. I’ve noticed that writing about my MS diagnosis isn’t really the type of newsletter that I like writing. Which means, I should probably stop avoiding that topic. Since March is MS Awareness month, I’ll challenge myself to articulate what this diagnosis has meant for my life in my next newsletter.

If you are curious about any specific aspect of it, please let me know! I’m an open book when it comes to MS, the diagnosis and the ten years since. I think my resistance to writing about it comes when I feel like I’m just storytelling and not offering the handy inspirational takeaways I usually weave into my notes. But like I say in the footnote…being more real at the expense of a little personal discomfort is something I’m working on. (I mean, aren’t we all?!)

xx M

1. I know, I know, how is it that I’ve been writing this newsletter for all these months and haven’t brought up psychedelics until now? Fear not, this is a topic I relish discussing and one you’ll hear more about from me. I promise.

2. I add “most days” as some sort of qualifier because I don’t want it to sound like I’m complaining too much. That’s a wiring I have—many of us have—to be real and honest, but not too heavy handed in it, because we fear sounding rude, ungrateful or pessimistic. That’s because “real” can feel scary—for ourselves and those we’re trying to communicate with. Obviously this is something I need to work through; the instinct to put politeness above bare knuckled candor when it comes to how I feel. I’m getting there…slowly.

3. I’ll report back about this specific ketamine experience after I finish the study in a few weeks.