We Are All Fierce

Give yourself alllll the fire emojis.

A Little Detail

I started this newsletter as a way to show how we approach and get through hard times. I named it Thriving…Sometimes as a nod to Thrive with MS, the site and resources I created after my MS diagnosis (ten years ago! Wow.). It was also an admission that neither I nor anyone else was thriving all the time. Sometimes we feel strong. Sometimes we feel like shit and don’t know how we’re going to carry on.

Photo by Philip Myrtorp on Unsplash

You may have noticed that I recently changed the name of the newsletter to Fierce Resilience. It was inspired by how another writer described it to her audience: “Candid, fierce storytelling about finding your strength.” First, what a compliment from someone I admire. (Thank you,

Shindy

!) Second, it clicked in me that the ability to get up or keep going after a setback (aka Resilience) — is fierce in and of itself. Carrying on when you don’t actually know how to is a fierce act of defiance.

Resilience doesn’t mean doing life “well,” it just means that you’re still here, still showing up. Even if we’re just lumbering through, barely making it to the end of the day and can only see the next 24 hours ahead (when we’re praying to God no one sees us in this “weak” state), we are still a model of courage, bold to push back against the pressures of Life and Shitty Circumstances that befall us all.

The name Fierce Resilience feels different than Thriving…Sometimes. Not only does it evoke the bygone era of weekly spelling tests just after you learned the rules and exceptions for i’s and e’s, but there’s a certainty to it. And even though it’s all the same sentiment, you feel it’s strength. That’s what I want for anyone who reads this: to feel strong. When I write this newsletter, I feel strong too because I tap into that energy source that’s buried deep inside. I’ll tell you — in the short time since I launched this twice montly dispatch, I’ve gone through very tough moments of my own and have observed the pain that loved ones close to me go through as Life lobs curveball after curveball. But the struggles serve as my mirror, reminder, and teacher about what resilience really boils down too. (And also, I should have mentioned earlier, we’re playing game where every time I say the R-word, we take a shot. I think everyone should be quite toasty now.)

Okay, enough deflection, back to the point…

Why It Matters

Resilience (drink!) isn’t one thing and it isn’t binary. I think there’s a spectrum, one end is Fierce Resilience and the other extreme is, oh, I don’t know, Fumbling-Along-And Barely-Keeping-My-Shit-Together. Somewhere in the middle is Thriving…Sometimes. The name Fierce Resilience isn’t meant to be intimating or exclusive, it’s just a reminder of the strength we all have inside. Because showing up is strength.

As my favorite meme on the internet says: On days you only have 40% and you give 40%, you gave 100%.

Showing up is showing up.

Fumbling-Along-And Barely-Keeping-My-Shit-Together is showing up.

And showing up can look like crumbling. It can look like crying till there’s no more. Can look like greeting all your fears and being straight up intimidated as shit by them. It can feel like not knowing what to do or where to go. Being lost. Or discovering yourself somewhere quite new and scary—mentally, physically or emotionally.

Resilience doesn’t always feel like strength.

It often feels like shit.
And that’s ok.

Because growth does too.

Reminder: Your soul is a defiant protector of your softest parts.

To be here, on this earth, finding the verve to take one step forward (and then another), even when global events shake us, national news depresses us and personal moments challenge us is an act of brazen defiance.

If you’re ever wondering, even on your “weakest” days…

Without a doubt, your spirit is indeed fierce.

xx M